It has been a while since I posted. So much has happened in the time I was away. I could use more processing time but I needed to write tonight. This sharing is a part of the process, thank you for bearing witness.
After a very intense week at work that included a lock down due to a gunman in the area ( later determined to be a hoax), I spent Friday night trying to prepare myself for the gig the following day. The stress of the week was just too much and I could not relax enough to summon the muse. I played around with the looper a bit but eventually gave up and decided I would write the next day. (Its usually my style to write the lyrics the night before or the day of the gig. Have even wrote pieces right before going on stage.) Eventually I ended up writing a little bit but had to bring old material with me because I needed more lyrics. I grabbed a few of my notebooks randomly on purpose and we headed out to the gig at Mutiny! in Chicago.
The Mutiny! is a cool dive bar with Karaoke in the front and a nice sized stage in the back. Not a big fan of bars (or Karaoke) but as I walked thru the doors of the place, I really dug the relaxed yet energetic atmosphere. I will openly admit, I love the stage, dear Reader and I was feeling fancy and free and ready to get it! and give it! on the Mutiny! stage. I had missed it more than I knew. One interesting side note. Two of my friends and former band mates from a previous collaboration (gHost Project) were at the show! It really surprised me to see them there (it’s been a while) and at the same time I got the feeling it was just perfectly placed in the flow. There is some Karma we all need to sit with together. I have such a magical life. Creation responds to my heart. It was good to see them. I hope to see them again soon.
There is a link to a portion of the show here if you would like to listen.
The show went well. ( I knew it was going to be a good night when I saw Dr. Charles J. on the dance floor.) There were a few technical difficulties at the start but they were quickly remedied by band mate George. He, BA and I flowed into the music and mood effortlessly and it felt good to be making music and letting my voice be sung. I absolutely love experimental improvisational avant garde musical performances. I had fun and my voice surprised me and held out for the whole show! Most importantly, I moved past the resistance……or moved into the resistance and even better relaxed into the resistance so it could become flow. So I could become flow. The trauma associated with the damage to my vocal chords was emancipated! And since the show I have seen an increase in the strength and duration of my singing voice. Its not the same as before it was compromised. Its different and I think I am ok with that. This show was a birth and a beginning. I am so grateful.